What would make Chipotle better

List of the day for Oct. 10, 2023

Eating inside of my local Chipotle establishment, I couldn’t help but think, “This place is overdo for improvements.” What follows are a few things that I think would make Chipotle better:

• Baja Blast

• Taco Bell chalupas

• TVs playing UFC fights

• Commercials narrated and directed by Mike Lindell

• MyPillows

• Beat poetry corner

• Sour cream bar

• A theme song by Red Hot Chili Peppers

• Guac pockets (these are Hot Pockets full of guacamole)

• Neon signs in newlywed calligraphy that say, “Margaritaville RIP JIM”

• Chopsticks

• Baked beans

• A tortilla chip as a mascot named Korn that sings “Freak on a Leash”

• Off the menu item called “The Toilet Bowl” (it’s just beans)

• South African Coke (like Mexican Coke but from South Africa)

• Taxidermy

• Sunglass Hut