Hey, let’s not waste time here. You came here to learn about how to riot. And that picture? Well, it got me thinking. So here are a few baseline rules:
Try and keep the noise to a minimum
Stay in a single-file line
No tote bags. It’s a non-starter, folks!
Signs are allowed if they are only on 8.5” X 11” standard Staples copy paper. Keep the font to Comic Sans, size 12
Service dogs are fine
Flags are available at Cintas
After-riot-parties take place at the local coffee shop. The one with the Songwriter Sunday brunch bullshit. I forget the full name, but it has “coffees” in it so as to say, “We don’t just serve one type of coffee.” Yeah, the one that smells like halitosis and Gold Bond. Exactly.
During the event, always take selfies and tag everyone else on social media. Even the people who couldn’t make it who you know would want to be there! They’ll get a kick out of it.
Remember all the signals. If you need assistance with the signals, consult the Playbook. The library will have the Playbook. Randy Quaid and Dilbert wrote forewards for special editions. I have a copy you can borrow if you really can’t find it.
Please don’t make this political.