My target audience

Fine, I’ll do this

Jumping on the bandwagon (or regular wagon) (or family wagon like a Dodge Caravan) to fill you in on my target audience.

• Balding

• Eats vitamin c cough drops as “dessert”

• Asks someone if they went to a concert the night before knowing they weren’t at that concert because you were at that concert and didn’t fucking see them. And if they saw you, they didn’t fucking say anything! Not even hello! Some friend you are! And I work with you? Ugh.

• Big tech

• scrunches face Have you heard Pearl Jam’s No Code?

• Macroeconomics professors (Ivy League preferred, country folk accepted)

• Middle-aged bros who still play NBA 2K

• Still buys CDs

• Your calendar has a reminder of the next Criterion Collection 50% off sale

• Organized, so please don’t touch that pile on my desk. I’ll get to it!

• adjusts glasses Have you seen Magnolia? It’s pretty good!

• Your good bar story usually closes the bar, not in a good way.

• Shannon Sharpe, but only on Club Shay Shay

• The one person wearing a bow tie to the high school reunion

• Imogen Poots (heady play keeping the last name…I respect it!)

• Read and loved Heat 2

• Listicle enthusiasts