Exclusive look at the script for "Passion of the Christ 2"!

We got our hands on the trailer script for this new movie, and all we can say is "Wow!"

Movie trailer thunderclap, deep/masculine voiceover as a bearded man kicks in a wooden door, wearing a crown of thorns, off-white robe enters frame, flexing muscles and showing off AR-15 rifles.

V/O: From the visionary mind of academy award winner Mel Gibson… comes a story about a man on a mission … from GOD

JESUS CHRIST: They said I’d be crucified for this

Jesus slashing a throat, wiping blood on his face, yelling

JESUS CHRIST: But little did they know… I’d be resurrected … to fuck shit up.

V/O: It’s THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST 2: FIRST BLOOD

JESUS CHRIST: Easter Sunday?

Jesus launches grenade.

JESUS CHRIST: Try again, fuckwad.

V/O: Starring SEAN PENN as JESUS CHRIST, and VINCE VAUGHN as GOD

GOD: Baby, baby, baby…you see all those little honeys down there? I want you to fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em good, big boy.

JESUS CHRIST: …WHY

GOD: Are you a fuckin idiot? It’s the word of God, my man.

Jesus shrugs and takes a swig from a wine goblet.

V/O: And co-starring GINA CORENO as MARY MAGDALENE

MARY: Wanna wrestle?

JESUS CHRIST: NOT WITH A WOMAN. AND NOT ON MY DAY OFF.

Jesus slams door and cries on bed.

JESUS CHRIST: WHY DOESN’T ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME?

Jesus ripping a phonebook in half, yelling, then shooting machine guns in the air, tearing a hole in his roof, which then falls on Jesus.

GOD: Look at you, you silly shit! How ya gonna get outta this one, baby?

V/O: It’s the movie event of every season.

JESUS CHRIST: They say some people never change.

Montage of Jesus headbutting children and sheep.

JESUS CHRIST: Obviously, they haven’t read the scripture.

MONTAGE CONTINUES: Jesus at a shooting range.

JESUS CHRIST: Hey God… Pull

God lets go of a skeet pull with an apostle loaded into it. Jesus kills apostle.

GOD: Great shot, kid. Only 11 more to go.

V/O: It’s the PASSION OF THE CHRIST 2: FIRST BLOOD. Only in theaters on every Christian holiday. Rated PG. So you can bring the entire congregation.